The 20-Something Life Audit
Whenever one of my 20-something clients (I have many), my 20-something nieces (I have four) or my 20-something sons (I have two), tell me dramatically that their life is tragic, mid or a major L (how am I doing with their slang?), I suggest they do a quick Life Audit. It's also the exercise we give every new client at Human Better before we start coaching together: look closely at select areas of your life, then answer a set of questions built to surface exactly what's causing friction, knocking you out of alignment, or otherwise nagging at you.
I find that when people look at each area of life individually, they realize their overall life doesn’t actually suck so bad. And, not surprisingly, this feels good. It is almost always just one piece of their job that's draining, one friendship they’ve outgrown, or one bad habit like scrolling that saps their energy. It is rarely everything that is a fail.
When you ask yourself the very general "am I happy with my life?" your brain treats the query as one impossibly large question, so it either spirals (comparing your timeline of everything to everyone) or it shuts down (and opens TikTok). It is much easier to break the one big question into a few specific, answerable ones. Small enough to actually think through, concrete enough to act on.
The Life Audit Exercise
Go through each of the six main areas of life below. For every one, answer the two listed questions, then name a few small steps you can take to start improving your life in that area.
Work
What part of my job do I look forward to and what’s one task or dynamic I dread?
If I don’t have a job, what am I avoiding in my job search?
What are three small steps I can take to improve this area?
Money
Does my spending match what I say I care about?
What's one financial habit that is derailing me?
What are three small steps I can take to improve this area?
Relationships
Which relationships give me energy, and which ones zap it?
Where could I show up better in important relationships?
What are three small steps I can take to improve this area?
Health & Energy
What do my eating, exercise, sleep and stress management habits look like?
What things are currently draining me?
What are three small steps I can take to improve this area?
Self & Home
Is there a bad habit I return to that leaves me worse off?
Does my physical space reflect how I actually want to feel?
What are three small steps I can take to improve this area?
Growth & Curiosity
What have I enjoyed recently that had nothing to do with being productive?
Is there something I keep saying I'll start eventually?
What are three small steps I can take to improve this area?
Many people ask me what a "small step" actually looks like. Here are some ideas:
Maybe you want to reconnect with a handful of friends you haven’t been great at staying in touch with. Text one a day.
At work, maybe it is time to ask your manager for one specific upgrade such as to sit in on a meeting where you'd learn something new, or clarification on a task that has been stressing you out.
With money, look at one statement you've been avoiding. Or go online and set up that IRA (not as small but takes less than 30 minutes and is quite meaningful!)
You're not behind because you now have a list of things in your life to upgrade. In fact, you're ahead of everyone who is still avoiding asking these questions. Pick one thing from the list, the one that feels most doable this week. Do it. Then another next week. And another. These very small actions almost always add up to big shifts, not only in your life but in how you feel about your life (not so mid anymore is it?).
This audit doesn’t mean you have a fully mapped-out life by Friday. It means you now know the difference between "everything in my life is a train wreck" and "this one specific thing needs adjusting".
Now go do the things.
Want help getting started with that audit?
On October 19, Human Better is launching a small-group coaching program designed specifically for young adults navigating exactly this. Together, we'll work through career direction, self-worth, money, relationships, decision-making, and the habits that shape the life you're building.
Real tools. Real conversations. A group of people in it with you. Groups of friends can even form their own cohort — and the person who puts it together gets a free seat.
Sound like the kind of support you’ve been looking for? Click below to register today.
Real Tools for Real Life
Life Design: Twenties Edition
Your 20s are supposed to feel like the best years of your life. So why do they sometimes feel the most confusing? The career pressure. The comparison. The relationships that don't quite look like you hoped. The nagging sense that everyone else has a plan except you.
Casey Seidenberg
is a Human Better EDU Program Leader and Executive Life Coach. She leads our popular Take Charge of Your Life course for Middle Schoolers and High Schoolers. She also works with graduate-level educators to Kindergarten teachers and everything in between. Email Casey at casey@humanbetteredu.org.