From Know-It-All to Own-It-All: A Coaching Journey
Jumping Into Coaching
When I first began the Human Better Coach Training Program, I had already been working with the organization for 6+ years. I thought I knew the frameworks. I thought I knew what work would be hard. I thought I knew what my coach was going to say and how to bring this work to others.
Boy was I wrong.
The deeper we dove, the more I uncovered, and the lighter and richer my life felt. I began owning my life and taking control of my direction in a way I had never imagined. Here I was at 40, married, a mom of two, having worked several jobs, having lived a good chunk of my life, and I realized I had been moving through life by default. I was passively shifting from phase to stage with the outlook, “This is the only version of my life that exists.” I had excuse after excuse why I couldn’t, or shouldn’t, create dreams, let alone pursue them:
I’m the primary caregiver. I can’t.
My husband’s job is inflexible.
There’s no time.
I’m not really a leader.
What if my kids need me?
Nothing has worked in the past. Why now?
No one else is doing it.
I have no idea what my kids need.
I’m too old or out of shape.
I missed my chance.
It’s too hard.
I shouldn’t put myself first.
Accepting these negative thoughts, many cemented as Limiting Beliefs, as we call them, was keeping me stuck, stagnant, and powerless, but also resentful, unfulfilled, and ultimately unhappy.
“The deeper we dove, the more I uncovered, and the lighter and richer my life felt.”
Discovering the Dreams
The truth is (as our Coach Trainer likes to say), I have vivid dreams and desires. I want more from life. I am capable of going after it all and, most importantly, I deserve my dreams. These are fundamental truths that we want all clients who work with our coaches to believe. By living through this transformation as a coachee myself, I have gained invaluable stories, experiences, and examples myself to then share with my future clients. I can say, “I felt like that, too.” or “Those thoughts are totally normal, I had them, too.”
“I have vivid dreams and desires.”
Not to say everyone’s experience will be the same. And I’m not going to sugarcoat it, this work can be, and was (for me), hard. My coach reminded me regularly that we were undoing 40+ years of patterns and habits. Even now, nearly two years after starting the program, I still hear those negative voices shooting down my dreams. The difference is that now I have comebacks. I have hard evidence from my assignments to wave in the face of those naysaying voices with a confident, “See here? I proved you wrong.” I can share this feeling, today’s feeling, with my clients from my position in the driver’s seat.
The Real Work and Real Results
Once I was securely in the driver’s seat of my life, the real work of coaching began. Coaching is unlike any self-help program, therapy, or guidebook I have done before. You meet weekly with a live person who is intimately familiar with your dreams and has their finger on the pulse of your loudest excuses. They know the levers to pull, the questions to ask, and the evidence to point to in order to move you into action.
“She was always two steps ahead in our journey, and I felt well guided, cared for, and pushed in all the right ways. She knew me better than I knew myself.”
My coach used the phrase “peeling the onion” of life. We would come to the end of an assignment and I’d think, great, we’ve got that wrapped up, but then she’d take me back to the top to go a layer deeper. She was always two steps ahead in our journey, and I felt well guided, cared for, and pushed in all the right ways. She knew me better than I knew myself.
The shifts were small and the changes slow, but bit by bit I started living into my dreams. At first I was impatient and wanted fast results, but that’s not how taking control of your life works. I had to commit to these dreams over time:
I consistently showed up in my relationships with intention, for example leading with vulnerability and trust in my marriage and a daily promise of gratitude.
I consistently did hard things, for example tracking my food, calories, and protein and prioritizing exercise.
I had hard conversations, Champion Conversations as we call them, speaking up in school meetings for my children and setting boundaries with those I love.
I put myself first. I scheduled knee surgery, said no more often, and said yes to dreams that make me happy.
I stopped holding back the leader within me who wanted to shine with her own creativity and light.
I’m proud of the growth and accomplishments I have made while completing the Human Better Coach Training Program. I can’t wait to continue the journey of coaching others with all I’ve experienced and lead them on the journey of creating lives that truly fulfill them.
Ayla Davidson
is a Human Better Coach and Director of Operations and a recent graduate of the Coach Training Program. She intends to bring Life Design work to students, educators, and families in her community. With a background as a Teaching Artist in educational theater, Ayla uses the arts as a tool for learning and empowerment, helping people design lives that truly fulfill them. Email Ayla at ayla@humanbetteredu.org.
Coach with Us
Enrollment is open for our 2026 Cohort of the Human Better EDU Coach Training Program.
Most programs teach concepts. We help you live them. You’ll master the skills to guide others while experiencing the same powerful growth yourself—emerging happier, more confident, and ready to make a lasting impact.
